True friendship

True friendship- This is not by me, but someone else.

#1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bast#rd who made you sad.

#2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

#3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

#4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

#5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

#6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

#7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

#8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy @ss.

#9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".